welcome to frustration nation, population: 1

one of my favorite bloggers, Breanna from Where She Begins says that part of adulting is doing things you don't want to do, i'll add to that, adulting is doing things you don't want to do and adapting anyway. my contract position didn't work out. The word frustration doesn't describe how i feel, but here i am, attempting to adapt and be on my big girl. well there was an attempt made today...

you ever walk into something and just know its not for you. that was today. i walked into this office and immediately felt off. i'm very much into energies and vibes so when i felt that energy, i knew it was not for me. but adulting and responsibilities that need money. the job isn't at all what was in the job description and in all honesty, i felt so defeated. i don't want to go on about this but i got to thinking, is it ever a good idea to push for something that's so obviously not for you just to be temporarily comfortable? someone literally threw a ball at me on day 1. i'm an introvert --  working in an environment where i don't get to nurture relationships as well as zone out and handle my work on my own ain't for ya girl. i would like to think my sanity should come second to none but does that argument hold up when responsibilities are very real?

i'm trying to figure out how to value myself but still need do what i need to do.

until next time, Nneoma

side note: if i make it through day 2 i honestly deserve some type of award

update: i didn’t make it to day 2 🙃